“Ally” is a verb, not a noun

This month marks the anniversary of the Stonewall uprising; or as you might more commonly hear it referred to, “Pride Month”.¹

Several years ago, I was asked at the last minute to present to around 100 civil servants about pride… in no more than 5 minutes.

No one likes listening to these kinds of presentations – including me. They invariably turn into a tedious history lesson. A well-meaning but ultimately ineffective use of 5 minutes.

So instead, I chose a different message.

This is what I said to them².

This summer, many of us will be celebrating LGBT+ pride.

I’m going to give you a quick explanation of what that is, why I think it still matters and what that means for you, even if you’re not LGBT+.

So, what is pride?

To understand that, you need to know that back in 1969, in New York City, police tried to raid an LGBT+ bar called the Stonewall Inn.

The patrons of that bar decided that “enough was enough”. The events that followed kicked off what we know as pride today.

Now, pride is an annual celebration of LGBT+ people.

It’s a chance to remember how far we’ve come in creating a diverse and inclusive society where people are safe and free to be themselves.

It’s a celebration, but it’s also a protest and a reminder of how far we still have to go on that journey.

So it’s been going on for more than half a century. Why should we still care about it now?

I’m going to show you some data from a government survey – the National LGBT Survey – conducted in 2018, and some Civil Service People Survey results from 2019.

Of the 108,000 LGBT+ people that responded to the National LGBT survey – at the time, the largest survey of its kind ever conducted – two-thirds of respondents said that they avoided holding hands with their same-sex partner in public because they feared the negative repercussions.

In that same survey, of the respondents who identified as trans, 67% of them said they avoided sharing with other people that they are trans – again, because they feared the negative reaction.

So pride still matters because people don’t feel safe to be themselves in public.

And those feelings and experiences extend into the workplace too…

In the 2019 Civil Service People Survey, when you break down the responses by peoples’ sexual orientation and whether or not they are transgender, you find that almost twice as many LGBT+ staff say they’d experienced bullying, harassment and discrimination as those who were not LGBT+.³

Transgender staff, in particular, experience some of the highest rates of bullying, harassment and discrimination of any group in the Civil Service.

So that’s what pride is and a few examples of why it still matters, but so what?

Why should you care about it? Especially if you’re not LGBT+?

Well, whilst many LGBT+ people will celebrate pride this year, I come with a challenge for the more than 90% of people here today that are not LGBT+.

This challenge doesn’t relate to pride and LGBT+ inclusion; it’s a universal message that applies to us all, in many different contexts.

These words are a common phrase used across our workplaces in recent years.

“I am an ally”.

Maybe you’ve seen someone with the message in their email signature or wearing a rainbow lanyard.

Maybe you have said these words out loud. Or you think you could say them.

So the start of my challenge is this:

If you are the person who usually says “I am an ally”, I challenge you to stop doing that.

Don’t be an ally.

Or, more specifically, don’t call yourself an ally.

My challenge to you is to think about it as a verb, and not as a noun.

Don’t call yourself an ally and think it’s “job done” on including your LGBT+ colleagues, or even your LGBT+ family and friends.

It’s not a badge of honour. It’s a call to action.

It’s a promise to act.

Don’t be an ally. Do allying.

You have to do something to make a meaningful difference to the stats that I shared earlier on.

And there are loads of things you could do. Big and small.

Fill in your diversity data on your HR system.

Do some research and learn about the experiences that LGBT+ people face in their day-to-day lives.

Just have a chat with an LGBT+ person about pride – maybe someone in your team.

Volunteering. Go and volunteer with an LGBT+ charity⁴. If you can’t donate your time, maybe you can afford to donate some cash⁵.

Talk to your family about it. Maybe you have kids you can talk to about LGBT+ identities, and how you accept and celebrate them.

Check people’s pronouns. Use and respect them.

Help our your workplace LGBT+ network.

Or, if you’re living nearby one, go to a pride event. Watch and show your support at the marches that take place.

The list is almost endless!

So that’s what pride is, why it still matters, and a challenge to you to ally yourself to LGBT+ people.

Happy pride. Go and do allying!